Carrie Dufresne started her career as a lowly intern on Dawsons Creek.  Today, she is still in the television industry, but now she is known for her work behind the camera.  You can see her most recent work on The Real Housewives of Dallas which will air in August 2018.  We talk about everything from women breaking into the world of cinematography to seeing reality television not just as a guilty pleasure, but an opportunity to learn about people and places you might not otherwise have the opportunity to meet and see.

Transcript:

Susan: Welcome to How She Got Here, Conversations with Everyday Extraordinary Women. It is my belief that every woman has something inside her only she can do. The more we share the stories of other women who have already discovered their thing the more it inspires encourages and powers other women to do the same.
Susan: Hey y’all. I am so excited about today’s guest. My guest today is my friend Carrie. Carrie is an artist. It’s an art you most likely consume weekly, but you probably don’t think of it as art. You probably refer to it as a guilty pleasure. Carrie is a camera operator in the world of reality television. She has worked all the way from being a lowly intern on a show you might remember called Dawson’s Creek. Obviously not a reality show. All the way up to camera operator on the latest season of Real Housewives of Dallas. Over the past 13 years she has been behind the scenes of many of the reality shows we have all come to know and love including but not limited to America’s Next Top Model, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of Orange County, Trading Spaces, Bachelor Pad, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Fast and Loud, Street Outlaws, and Little Women Dallas. I am so excited about today’s conversation. It was such a fun interview so sit back relax or put on your walking shoes. Without further ado heres Carrie.
Susan: Hey Carrie thank you so much for joining me today. How’s it going?
Carrie: It’s going really well. I’m glad I could be here to talk. I’m not really good at all this talking stuff. By the way. Just so ya know. Surprise!
Susan: Yes you are. You absolutely are. I’m just really glad you could be here. I’ve wanted to do this interview for a while just because I kind of wanted to hear some of the stuff that I don’t think I’ve ever asked you before. Friends, I think I already told you but Carrie is a camera operator. Is that your official title?
Carrie: Yes.
Susan: OK.
Carrie: Every once in a while I was director of photography, but mostly camera operator.
Susan: Very cool. We all see what happens in front of the camera. But I want you to take us behind the scenes and, but first tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you get into this role?
Carrie: I kinda fell into it. I went to college. I studied film. I did, I did study film. I learned all about it. I worked with film and cameras. I worked on the last season of Dawson’s Creek as an intern. I wrote a couple of screenplays and I moved to Hollywood. I was like I’m going to be a big time producer, director, screenwriter, whatever. And then you get there and you can’t find a job. And you’re still calling your dad to pay your rent and you’re living five people to a three bedroom apartment. And back ten years ago it was safer to meet people off Craigs List and become roommates with them randomly than today I think. And I just started working in independent movies and I was like this is it. This is going to be my big break. But little did I know it would actually be my big break into reality T.V. because that pays the bills whereas independent movies don’t normally and they don’t pay as much and then they run out of money. So then you’ve worked for like two weeks and their like sorry we can’t pay you.
Susan: Oh wow!
Carrie: Yeah. On one of those independent movies I met somebody from America’s Next Top Model.
Susan: A Ha!
Carrie: Yeah. She was like hey, you’re good at production assistant work. But I hadn’t done camera yet. Cause I still probably wanted be a producer/director. And then I started working in reality and made friends with all the camera people and someone was like you know hey you take really good picture. You’re pretty good at it. Have you ever thought about that. And I was like no I don’t think I’m good enough. I didn’t have a lot of confidence and you didn’t see a lot of women doing it. Like, there were a couple, but there weren’t enough at that point for me to be like this is definitely what I want to do but then I met more camera people more camera women and then a year and a half after working and starting in Top Model you know I was camera assisting on Beauty and Geek.
Susan: I remember that show.
Carrie: Yeah yeah I know a lot of people are like what?! And so I did two season of that and then from there I landed my first long term house reality gig for a little gem you might remember called Bad Girls Club Season 2 where the still infamous Tanisha pots and pans waking people up.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: That was my camera operator and I was the camera assistant and I was running around throwing mics on all the girls that morning.
Susan: Oh wow. That’s some pretty fun behind the scenes stuff right there.
Carrie: Yeah. You know half the people are asleep you know you have an audio person with a boom, but then like I’m hiding in a bathroom trying to put a microphone on a girl so ya know they don’t have to boom everybody.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: I was ducking behind beds, ya know ducking around corners to avoid all that chaos.
Susan: So you mentioned something that I want to go back to a little bit. And you mentioned that not a lot of women were in the business at the time. So you’ve been in this business for about 13 years. Talk a little bit about that and how that has how it has or it changed for women in your line of work.
Carrie: Ok. This is interesting because there used to be like there were a couple like maybe I wanna say 30. 30 women that were just amazing and kicked butt. And then after I started there was a lot. There are just so many. I’m actually working with a female right now who I’ve known. I actually met her on Bad Girls Club. She was a producer on Bad Girls Club and she was finally able to make her way into camera. Sometimes it does take us a little bit longer to move up in this business. I feel like I might have had it a little easier because I am taller. I’m a little bigger like I’m built a little bigger and I don’t wanna say people/ guys take me a little more seriously. But you know I have the body stature, is that what I’m looking for?
Susan: Yeah. The build, yeah.
Carrie: Yeah so their like you can hold the camera. And one of my friends is like five foot. I used to camera assist for this amazing camera operator who is also five foot. She was phenomenal. She could run circles around all the guys. So this, my friend now she is having a problem making the break from camera assistant to camera operator and I think a lot of it has to do with: one she is amazing at her job and if you get if you are too good at your job in this industry is people hate to move you up. Like the only reason, half the reason, I moved up is cause like I’m not taking any more work. And ya know, that’s where a lot of us get. Where we have to say no to work and if we’re not working we’re not making money. So it’s sort of a double edged sword. But oh, so we were talking the other day. She’s like, you know there’s not as many females or we’re not getting hired as much and we think it’s you know guys are afraid. Which, You know if you aren’t doing anything questionable then you shouldn’t be afraid.
Susan: Oh! That’s just an interesting that’s an interesting concept to think about that in the world that we’re in now that there would be a fear there. That men had not had before. I find that fascinating.
Carrie: But it’s like yeah we work in an industry where there’s a lot of joking around. We’re working with people twelve hours a day you do get close with people and you feel like you can make certain jokes. Which somebody looking on the outside completely looks like sexual harassment. And I think you know I say things and other people say things but like we know each other enough to know that we can say that and it’s not crossing a line. Like I wouldn’t walk up to somebody I just met and make the exact same joke as I would working with my buddy I’ve been working with ya know for eight weeks now.
Susan: Sure.
Carrie: Whereas we spend 12 hours a day in a van together, on set together and then we’re on locations we eat together. We become family. I can say ya know, hey lookin good today you know. It’s so weird. So I feel like, and I’ve talked to guys I work with they know that they can make a joke like that with me and I’m not going to take it the wrong way. But their not gunna like if we had another female for the day, their not going to do that with her. Like I think we’re all smart enough to know what we can and can’t do. And I think people, guys that are afraid now they clearly like they know they’re crossing a line.
Susan: Oh that’s an interesting point.
Carrie: Yeah, and I feel like if you feel like you aren’t doing anything wrong like, I don’t know. I don’t have phrases this. Like if you feel guilty about it then you’re guilty. Right? Does that make sense?
Susan: It makes sense. Like if you have like a gut reaction or a gut feeling about it it’s like it’s in your gut you know or you know you know it’s cool or you know it’s not.
Carrie: Yeah exactly. And then, ya know for a period of a couple of years there people were like we definitely want females. And then, ya know, I read on some message board, well you can’t specifically say you’re looking for this type of person to hire because that’s discrimination. We’re in such a weird era right now where.
Susan: It can be misconstrued.
Carrie: Yeah. And now all the guys are butt hurt. Oh you’re only hiring females. That’s discrimination. Well, I have lost a handful of jobs. Hey, I know we wanted to hire you on this, but this guys bro. Literal words: “Yeah, his bro’s available so we’re going to bring him on instead.” I was hired on. They praised my work. I got a call the next week. Hey you’re b roll’s not very good. So we’re going to replace you. But his buddy. A man it was a man. He’s not available for another week so we’re going to bring you out for another week. And then after that, he’s going to replace you. And in my head if I’m not doing the job you hired me to do, your standard… why are you going to bring me back for one more week?
Susan: That’s nuts.
Carrie: Yeah. And then the same week they brought me out. I’d had more experience than my director of photography who still shoots the show and he’s a great guy, but I’d had more experience than him at that point in reality. But we had like a, not a crazy scene, but my coverage, they said oh my God your coverage saved us. They went from saying ya know your b rolls not that good to oh my God you saved us. To all right you’re being replaced by by our buddy. You know.
Susan: That’s, wow that’s hard. That’s hard.
Carrie: Yeah I never really, like for a while I was kinda down. I was like, oh my God my b rolls not that good. But then I talked to my friend who was on the show and she was the producer and she was like, Carrie, this never should have happened. And I was like ya know what? I’m not going to let it affect me and my work because when it came down to it. It was about hiring a man over a woman at that point. Like they wanted their bro on there. You know their drinking buddy on there and that just wasn’t me. So they had to come up with some lame excuse to fire me. Besides the show with the EP that I argued with and that was like a mutual I don’t want to work with you. You’re fired kinda thing. That’s only happened on two shows. So I feel like in my 11 13 13 years of working in the business for that to only happen. To only be fired twice I feel like that’s fine.
Susan: Well one of the things that prompted me to ask you to come on the show was the Academy Award nomination of Rachel Morrison this past year. And you and I kind of discussed that a little bit but for those that don’t know Rachel Morrison was the first woman ever nominated for cinematography in 2018. The first time in 2018.
Carrie: Right. It’s mind blowing.
Susan: It Is. And I also read in a Guardian article that I’ll link in the show notes afterwards that the American Society of Cinematography which was founded in 1919 didn’t even invite a woman to join until 1980. And the argument was was that well this woman was the first woman to work as a cinematographer on a major Hollywood film. But that was only 38 years ago. So in my mind you know so many people think oh well women have been doing you know have been able to do whatever for a long time and we haven’t been discriminated against and we we’ve had these opportunities and clearly what you’re saying and clearly with this article and with what’s happening it’s quite obvious that we’re still new in the game.
Carrie: We are still so new in the game. The Fact that I was born in ’81. The fact that in my lifetime is when the first woman was able to join the cinematographers.
Susan: The American Society of Cinematographers?
Carrie: Yeah, the fact that it happened in my lifetime. That shouldn’t be the case. You know, that should have happened before I was born. So we still have a long way to go. We’re in a couple of …. now, but I think we’ll overcome it. Like you know I was specifically requested…oh we need another female operator. And I’m working wiht a bunch of amazing guys. The DP I worked with on Bad Girls Club 2 that’s when I first met him. And one of the last times I saw him and since then he has won an Emmy. He did a show about the Born to This Way the people with Down syndrome.
Susan: Yes yes yes.
Carrie: Yeah. And then the other guy on that crew. You know were doing a show about Mexican nationals. Women, a lot of Latino women. Affluent Latino women.
Susan: Oh Cool.
Carrie: Yeah. It’s not gunna be a Housewives. But, it’s through Bravo so it could become the Housewives and no one will be shocked. But we are trying very hard not to make it a Housewives. But so you know obviously we’re doing a show about women. You need a woman. You also need…so another guy he’s Hispanic and then my camera operator he’s a little older. He’s a black man and then ya know, a woman. So we have a pretty diverse crew but it’s still like the only females on the crew are me and the other camera assistant. And then our producers are female and our show runner is female. Actually both of our executive producers are female and then all of our segment producers are Latina women. So we do have a nice diverse cast I mean crew on the show with a cast of diverse women.
Susan: So since women like yourself are really starting to find themselves in positions to hire or have hiring influence how has that affected the industry. Or maybe specifically in this case. How has it affected the final product that you’re going to be delivering or do you feel like it does?
Carrie: If we had men running this show about you know rich Mexican ladies I don’t know if we’d have the same show. I think it’s really great that we have you know a female show runner and a female Latina executive producer. I feel like this helps. And then you know all the guys I’m working with are a little older than me. And then there’s, I’m probably the same age as the women we’re shooting right now.
Susan: Wow.
Carrie: Yeah. I feel like that helps. I did a show called Little Women Dallas and our show runner on that was a male and Little Women Atlanta had a male show runner and I feel like when your dealing with an all women cast like that you really need. Well I’m sorry. I’ll back track. On Little Women Dallas we had a female and a male that helped. But I feel like you really need more women on the show about women because what do men know about women? Nothing. What’s a tall guy know about short women and what their going through? Nothing. I feel like I can relate a little bit because I’m a woman and I mean, I’m tall. So I don’t relate that much, but I’ve done that show and now I’m a little more empathetic to what little people go through.
Susan: You Are. I never actually watched that show confession.
Carrie: All good. Nobody did. We got cancelled.
Susan: Sorry friend.
Carrie: It’s all good.
Susan: But yeah that’s that’s a good point that you bring up that there is an empathy there. That happens but you also already kind of have you had an understanding from the perspective of being a woman but being tall. I mean it’s one little thing, ha ha it’s one little thing, but being tall it’s a huge difference. Gosh I never thought of it like that.
Carrie: It is. And people are like how do you shoot the show when you’re so much taller and it’s like well it helps because ya know I’m tall and like can make them look shorter than they are but then I can also I can show the world how they are in the world. But then I can also sit down and show the world from their perspective. I’m able to adjust for that. They unfortunately can’t see the world from my perspective, but I can at least show people how they live from my perspective and their perspective.
Susan: So you are a professional storyteller kind of.
Carrie: Yes. And that’s, that is what I love to do. I love to tell people’s stories. Whether it be a housewife or a little person or a drag racer or you know guy. I did a pilot for this company out of Knoxville. We were in Alabama and this guy 100 year old houses or building and just takes the amazing woodwork and saves it and restores it and sells it and puts it in other houses. And I just love to tell that story. I think he recently just ran for like office in Alabama and he is in the primary now.
Susan: Wow.
Carrie: Yeah. He’s like a nice moderate voice that we all need in the world today.
Susan: We can definitely use more of that.
Carrie: Yes exactly. Yeah, I’m definitely a professional story teller and I just love telling peoples stories. I love learning about people cause everyone, and this is why I can’t get into Facebook arguments with people because no one, when I realized people don’t understand and I will say if it wasn’t for reality T.V. I’d probably would still be in my little bubble of…well if you really wanted a better life you could have a better life for yourself kind of thing. When I realized cause I was born in a very conservative upbringing. I guess you could say.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: And now I’m kinda the black sheep of the family. I know my parents love me and their fine with my lifestyle. But, we do butt heads on ya know, certain present day issues but I feel like reality T.V. I’ve definitely learned a lot about other people and that life isn’t black and white and there’s a lot of gray area. And we need to have a lot of empathy and sometimes and ya know, I don’t even know how to say this, but you know there is a lot of white privilege and male privilege and male toxic masculinity and male fragile ego. I know it sounds like I’m male bashing, but I love guys. They’re some of my favorite people to hang out with, but I see that and I see that in these people that I tell the stories of and it’s sad because you know some of these people haven’t had an opportunity and there’s a lot of abused people and they’re just trying to make their lives better and you know they’re trying the best they have with what they have. And I don’t think there is a lot of empathy for that.
Susan: Well, and I think you’ve made me think about reality TV different. You know I think a lot of us will sit down and watch housewives or insert whatever reality show here and it’s more like we see it as a guilty pleasure like an Oh we’re going to watch these crazy women fight about something on television and it’s going to be funny to laugh at. And you do have the individuals I would presume who are on there to totally just make a name for themselves and they will do whatever to be on television. And I think of like Bachelor Pad in this situation.
Carrie: Oh yeah. That’s definitely one of those.
Susan: But I didn’t, I never really thought of it from the perspective of really sitting down and trying to learn about people. And I really do appreciate learning about people and learning about different cultures and visiting different places. And that’s something that you guys in the reality TV world provide is giving us the opportunity to visit these places in pretty close to real time and seeing how people live in different parts of the country and in the world. And I just never truly thought about it from that perspective I don’t think.
Carrie: I don’t think I did either. It took me a while and like in the last five years I’ve started describing it as like I’m kind of a sociologist.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: And its so funny because I just saw the Mr. Rogers documentary and everyone is special in their own way. Like he is not wrong because I remember the end of the documentary. There were people like Mr. Rogers was wrong. No one’s special. But, like that was just a bunch of fragile white guys that got rejected a couple of times and like the issue they don’t want to talk about, right. So they are just deflecting on Mr. Rogers and I’m like calm down. But everyone is special, but we’re not because we’re going through the same problems. Everyone’s trying to live their life. And you know we all live it differently, but we’re all the same. We’re all the just trying to live and make a good life for our selves and our kids and our families and our friends. The world is amazing and I think if you can travel it you know, it’s eye opening. I’m also really bummed about the whole Anthony Bourdain thing. Cause I did I worked with him a long time ago on Top Chef.
Susan: Oh yeah.
Carrie: Yeah, one of my dream gigs was just to work on his show. And I really feel like we lost a genuine human being. He just wanted to tell people’s stories and eat good food.
Susan: And what a job.
Carrie: I really hope like some people have changed their views. That’s kinda what I want to do. I want to help put other people’s stories out there and somebody can watch it and be like oh I relate to that they are different than me, but if they can make it through it, I can too.
Susan: So on that note you’ve alluded to it I think in other conversations. But I’ll put you on spot a little bit. You want to keep telling people’s stories and you want to keep what’s you’re next where are you going with this. Are we sticking with camera operator or are we moving on to bigger ideas.
Carrie: Definitely bigger. I’ve talked to a few people in Dallas. I definitely want to make a documentary. I’ve just, I’ve never tackled anything that large before so I’m still working out everything.
Susan: I think that’s supercool.
Carrie: So like working a. It could take 10 years and I’m okay with that because I just have to figure out exactly what I want this documentary to be about, but I just want to tell people’s stories. I wanna get it there. So like, it’s gunna take a lot of planning and a lot of work, but that’s one thing. The other thing is I’m getting a little older. I want to keep telling people’s stories, but I think I have to move into more of a producer role. Because I feel like in the next 10 years I won’t really be able to run around. I don’t know, maybe. I’m working with a 50 year old right now and he runs around. As long as I keep taking care of my body and doing all this muscle stem stuff and cryotherapy and the chiropractor and massages I should be okay.
Susan: Well that leads into my next question. I can imagine as we were just talking about your job can be pretty stressful at times and physically exhausting. One of the things that I like to mention in every show is that you can’t run on empty all the time. So I know what your secret is or some of your secrets, but tell us how you take care of yourself and how you recharge the batteries.
Carrie: Well, I agree it’s super important because I do work with a lot of people who don’t take care of themselves. I’m friends with this one, used to be an executive producer and I’m not sure she’s completely out of the business now but she was sick a lot and overworked and now she’s like a mindfulness teacher and she practices Reiki and I think she teaches people how to be more mindful of themselves and their bodies. But I definitely like I stretch every night, almost every night. At least four times a week I stretch before bed. I’ve recently gotten into cryotherapy. Thank you, Dallas Housewives. We did a scene there and the lady let me try it for free. Now I go almost every day.
Susan: Is that the freezing thing?
Carrie: Yes. It’s amazing.
Susan: I’ve always wanted to try that.
Carrie: There is a place in Uptown that I’m going to try when I get back and there’s a place in Deep Ellum that I’ve been to a couple of times and it’s just there’s a world of difference on my body. I’m actually going at 3:30 today.
Susan: That’s cool.
Carrie:Yes. And then I get, I try to get, monthly massages. I know I should go more than. I go to Kinetik Chain in Dallas and I get the dry needling and the cupping and the scraping and I do that once or twice a month. And then CrossFit. I CrossFit at least three times a week. Depending on my schedule, like I didn’t go Monday or Tuesday cause we were on a cast trip at a resort and I worked a couple of 16 hour days and I just didn’t, there was no time.
Susan: Sure.
Carrie: So then I soaked in a bath last night when I got home. I worked out this morning. I gunna do cryotherapy. I’m probably going to hit a yoga class tonight and this is all on my day off.
Susan: Gosh.
Carrie: Yeah. I try to eat right. It gets hard on the road. I probably put five pounds on, but ya know. It’s late at night. Ya haven’t eaten in six hours. They have pizza and your like, I’m starving. And I can’t not eat because then I don’t have energy for the next day. I did the low carb thing for a while and I was cranky and grouchy. And then I went gluten free for a while, but I don’t have celiac. You know it does help you lose weight and I think I’ve noticed a little bit of a difference in my joints for inflammation, but you know when you’re in the middle of nowhere and all they have are like hamburgers I’m not going to be super picky so I just have to eat as healthy as I can. And when I get done with this show I’m probably going to take a week off. Because I definitely need to recharge completely.
Susan: That sounds good to me.
Carrie: Yeah. And then, I wanna take a vacation. I need to get out of the country. I need to go to a beach and drink margaritas for like, a week.
Susan: That sounds like a pretty good vacation. Pretty good vacation.
Carrie: Yeah. Because even though I do tell people stories like, and even though half their problems aren’t my problems I’m still around it and it is very mentally draining sometimes too. So I meditate every night as well.
Susan: I never thought about that aspect of your job. I never did. I never thought about taking on everything and taking on the weight of those as someone else’s issues. Because it’s not like you’re their therapist but maybe sometimes you are because I presume there’s like some confiding there that’s happening. You’re getting to know these individuals as individual people so you actually know these people these individuals which is kind of cool but that’s a lot to take on. Never thought about that aspect of your job.
Carrie: It’s a lot. That’s another thing. We are in their lives. And you know whenever ends up on T.V. ends up on TV but whatever I shoot is true to their life. So I don’t want to say whatever happens in editing you know you know I shoot 12 hours a day. Well I work 12 hours a day and I have a camera on somebody for an hour. An hour on somebody with two cameras so that’s two hours and they’re going to cut it down to like a two minute scene. So we’re with people and we need them to trust. You know we need to have a relationship where they trust us so that when they are in their most vulnerable state they don’t ya know they can’t let it out you know?
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: If they’re going to cry and have a breakdown, I want them to know that they’re safe with me and that it’s okay to do that. That way I get the best story and they feel like they’ve been taken advantage of. Like, I’ve been in, ya know I had a cast member we tried to do in vitro fertilization. I was in there when she was getting probed and you know trying not to see anything. At the same time but also you know trying to show the procedure as true as it can be. I’ve been there when people have been sick when people find out, ya know, someone has just died. You know, they want to cry like, I’m in their lives and then I worked on this one show last year. And one of the women on it super reminded me of an ex like, and this was like a very psychotic ex.
Susan: Wow.
Carrie: It brought me to like a PTSD place and I drank a little bit more on that show cause I was like I don’t know if I can be around this. Like, this really brings back some memories. She was always yelling at people, yelling at us. It’s a lot. It’s a whole lot. Yeah. We get yelled at by a lot of people and I’ve just learned to tune it out a little bit.
Susan: These are aspects behind the camera that I never ever thought about. I guarantee you this audience has never thought about this either.
Carrie: Yeah. Oh yeah. No, like everyone’s like you have the coolest job. Like, you’re such a rockstar. And like, I mean it’s true I have a really awesome job and I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I get to meet so many people and have so many experiences and a lot of them. I mean I’ve been on a private jet recently, like I don’t have the money for that. You know, but yeah. I’ve been on a private jet. I go to all the nicest restaurants. I mean, I don’t eat there, but I meet the people and I could probably go back and splurge on a meal every once in a while. Yeah, it’s a rockstar thing, but like when people are in fights and all this other stuff, I’m going through it too. And I know that people aren’t yelling at me. But I’m listening to people yelling all day and so I get home. And every once in a while when I am dating somebody I’m like I need 10 minutes to myself. I’ve just had you know walkie talkie chatter in one ear and then listening to microphones in another ear and you know I just I need like 10 minutes to myself with just my voice in my head. So, it’s a lot and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but and it is glamorous, but, you know sometimes I’m standing in the middle of a swamp trying to not get eaten by an alligator like yeah I’ve got a rockstar job.
Susan: So I have one more question for you before I let you go and do your therapy and all that fun stuff that you get to do on your day off.
Carrie: Oh, but real quick. I forgot to mention about Rachel Morrison.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: She got her start in reality T.V. so.
Susan: I didn’t know that.
Carrie: Oh Yeah yeah. The Hills. And she worked on, a lot of my friends have worked with her. The Office. The last two seasons of The Office had a female DP who I was a camera assistant for on Beauty and the Geek. So she got her start in reality TV and there’s another DP camera guy that i worked with on Beauty and the Geek, who now. He had been the camera operator for that Girls Trip movie.
Susan: Yeah.
Carrie: And a couple Marvel things. Oh! Rachel Morrison was also the DP of Black Panther by the way. I don’t know if you knew that.
Susan: NO! I Didn’t know that. Holy cow.
Carrie: Yeah. She DP’d Black Panther. And my friend, Sarah Levy who I haven’t seen in a long time, but she was a b camera operator on that. So there’s hope. Like you know eventually through who I know I could somehow maybe hopefully wind up on a Marvel movie one day. Yeah.
Susan: That’s good because that kind of segues into my last question. I kind of like to end every show with some sort of an action step. And so we talked a little bit about positions of power and the opportunity when it comes to hiring people and you’re seeing a lot of this I think in your field right now. And I know that I have a listener. Probably multiple listeners who are in that same position today. She has the opportunity to advocate for women in her own field. We all know a rising tide lifts all boats. So as she rises or as you rise what is action step she can take to lift other women alongside with her.
Carrie: That’s a good question. Well I know that I, um. I guess I’ll just say what I would do. The friend that I’m working with. The camera assistant. You know we’ve had talks lately and I was like. I told her I didn’t know that you’ve been trying to transition from camera assistant to camera operator for the last year or so and I was like from now on I will only recommend you as camera operator. I make sure there are women on set who are like production assistants. So you know whatever. Like what are you interested in? Do you want to learn camera? If they do then I say I will teach you my ways because I know when I was coming up there was a lot of people who were like I’m not going to teach you that because I don’t want to take my job. Oh! I’m about to drop some really great wisdom. I just realized. I’m not like that. I will teach you everything I know because I’m not scared your going take my job because I know how good I am. But I want you to be as good as me so we can work side by side so that we can all together. All of us women like be amazing and when guys are like oh women can’t do that. I’ll be like look at us over here doing everything so back off. I’ve never understood that “I’m not going to teach you what I know so you can’t take my job” Like no. I’m going to share everything I know this because I know amazing things. People should want to know and I know.
Susan: Carrie, you can just now drop the mic and walk away. That was the most thing I’ve ever heard.
Carrie: Nice! Yay! Well, mic dropped.
Susan: Awesome. Well listen dude. I appreciate this. Thank you so much for coming on today and talking with me. This has been awesome and I love catching up with you and using it as a work excuse.
Carrie: Well you know I remember. It’s nice to talk about what I do and shine a light on it cause a lot of people just think we’re making guilty pleasure TV. And well, for some people we are, but for me it’s so much more than that. So it’s nice to be able to share that and get the word out and give people more of an understanding.
Susan: Well very cool my friend. I appreciate it.
Carrie: Well thank you very much. And hey, I’ll be back in town in a few weeks if you wanna grab a drink.
Susan: Always my friend. Always. I don’t get to travel as much as you do.
Carrie: Well, you can live vicariously through my photos.
Susan: Oh yes! Fo Sho!
Susan: Hey Y’all! Thanks so much for joining me today. That was such a fun conversation with Carrie. If you head on over to howshegothere.com you will be able to find the full transcript of this episode. The transcript page is a great resource because it is not only the interview written out in its entirety. It has links to some of the things we discussed as well as fun pictures of my guests. Y’all this podcast is truly one of my favorite things to do and bring to you. So thank you for listening and for sharing it with your friends. You can also follow How She Got Here on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. And if you haven’t yet you can go on over to Apple Podcasts and subscribe. I’d also really appreciate it if you would rate and review it. Thanks again friends. I’ll see ya soon!

Susan interviews the founder of Marvelous University, Shanterra McBride. Shanterra and Susan talk about everything from the importance of believing in yourself and having purpose partners to trash can choices at Home Depot.  They talk about what makes young women and girls marvelous, and what that means when it comes to being the kind of friend you want to be, loving your body or having sex for the first time.

Transcript:

Susan: I’m so excited to share today’s episode with you. I had the great fortune to sit down and chat with my friend Shanterra McBride who is truly a force in this world. Her laugh and her light are infectious and just good for the soul. Her company and vision Marvelous University is exactly what girls of all ages need. There are so many takeaways and so many nuggets in here. She is truly among the best of the best. So sit down with your cup of coffee or laced up your walking shoes and get ready to be inspired.

Susan: Good morning Shanterra.

Shanterra: Good morning, Susan.

Susan: This is so fun and I’m so excited. Friends Shanterra is here with me in person. We are meeting before meeting and I’m just so excited to have her here and share her story. Shanterra and I have not known each other very long but when you meet Shanterra she’s a person who just has a light about her. And she started something amazing. And when I heard it it was before this podcast ever started. And I said I’m going to be your friend. I need to know everything about you. And whatever you are doing is fantastic. And it turns out it was marvelous and it’s Marvelous University. So here’s Shanterra. I want to hear your story. Tell us about yourself.

Shanterra: Here’s a story version. Born and raised in Dallas left Dallas. Born and raised in Dallas went to SMU graduated from SMU and then lived here a year and then left and moved to D.C. worked at work. I was a volunteer in service to America. So I was with AmeriCorps worked at a high school in D.C. had no idea what I was doing. And I was there to get the community involved in the school and the school involved with the community did it for a year. It changed my life and then decided to stay in D.C. and what I thought would be one year ended up being 13.

Susan: Wow.

Shanterra: And was all in the nonprofit world. Met different people did different things and then got a call I was speaking around the country got a call to be an assistant principal at a school in northern California. So you know why not, I’d never done that. So I packed up my stuff and moved to California. Did that for about four years and then felt this calling to move back to Dallas. So I left California and came back home and I’ve been back for three years.

Susan: What did you do when you got back? Did you take a teaching job here?

Shanterra: I did not. I did not. I felt I didn’t feel like I was supposed to go back into a school. In one school in the traditional way. So I hired a business coach and I was really wanting to understand what this thing inside of me what it was I knew it was with young people I had always been attracted to being an advocate for young people I’ve never looked at young people as our future. And people used to, always you know like Whitney Houston, had her song, I believe, and I was like nah. Something about that didn’t sit well with me. And I always viewed young people as the now. And I felt like even when I got back to Dallas. I was like, not one school but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. So I hired a business coach. And from that Marvelous University was born. Isn’t that crazy?

Susan: Yes. That is wild. So what did your business coach. What was his or her role in that process? Was it a discovery like what made you go I think I need a business coach?

Shanterra: Well first of all I knew, I knew I loved working with young people. I knew I especially loved working with girls and young women from middle school and high school to college age women. I knew that I knew I also didn’t want to be in a traditional set up like I knew I didn’t want to be a teacher in one school one. I didn’t feel like I had mastered any subject well enough that I could teach. But I also didn’t want the box. Right? So I just kept thinking I need somebody to help work this stuff out that’s in my head. Because also when it comes to working with young people people tell you oh go start a nonprofit. And I didn’t want to do that either. I worked in nonprofit for years and I didn’t feel… and I’m big on feeling. Like, if it doesn’t feel right. I pay attention to my intuition.

Susan: Yeah. Women have that.

Shanterra: Listen. And and I pay attention. And so I didn’t feel like. One I didn’t feel that the world needed another nonprofit. No shade to any nonprofits. I just knew, for me, that wasn’t the lane. So a friend of mine in D.C. a roommate called and said hey I saw tis speaker you need to go to her seminar. I was like what? Okay, fine. Because my friends know me. So her name is Marshawn Evans Daniels. And I went to see her in Atlanta and I thought I’m just gonna hear her speak and then leave. Listen. After the seminar I was like I need a coach. I need her to help me work this thing out within me. And I signed up for her coaching from there. Like I truly went to Atlanta just for this seminar. I had no intentions of then having her be a part of the next year of my life. She helped me one. Be confident in the calling that was. She also listened to me which is where Marvelous University came from because I really always said young people were born to be marvelous. That was my. I kept saying it every time I had a conversation with people. I was like, well you know they’re marvelous they’re developing and they’re marvelous. And people used always say, Marvelous? And I would say, absolutely. Because I saw a scripture once that said thank you for making me so wonderfully complex your workmanship is marvelous.

Susan: I love that.

Shanterra: That sold me. One I believed for myself.

Susan: Well, yeah. Buy into that immediately.

Shanterra: Listen. And then I was like, huh. If young people, if girls and young women could believe that they were born to be marvelous that affects everything. When I said this to Marshawn she’s like your business is Marvelous University. I said, no it is not. I did. I said, I’m not starting a school. I’m not trying to start a college and I didn’t want that. You know there are a lot of businesses quote unquote that have this for profit school thing, right? I didn’t want that. And she said to me she said. So is it just going to be you for the rest of your life are you going to be the only person who will ever only do the work you do. And I said, I hope not. She said, are you building an empire or not? Are you building something that other people would want to come alongside you and work this thing with you or not? Are you building something that could be in different parts of the world or not? And I was like, huh.

Susan: My eyes are like, wide open.

Shanterra: Changed everything for me.

Susan: Yeah. What a different perspective.

Shanterra: So that that is what she helped me to see and helped me do.

Susan: So that is the start of Marvelous University. Tell me how you birthed this baby. Because it is like I am learning it is this is like birthing a child starting something from scratch.

Shanterra: You know that from experience, I don’t.

Susan: You are a great aunt.

Shanterra: I’m a godmother, right? I tell people all the time. I honestly it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the hard part is, well it wasn’t hard you know getting the paperwork done right. Right. It wasn’t hard once I believed in the name. Not hard. Wasn’t hard to even get the web domain right. Easy right. The hard part is the every day believing in it. The hardest. Every single day I have to decide whether or not I’m going to be committed to the vision that is inside me. And that is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Susan: What is vision?

Shanterra: The vision is to make sure that every girl and young woman knows that she was born to be marvelous. That is the vision. It is not every young girl or woman in Dallas. It’s not even every girl or young woman in Texas. Like it is not even in the United States. I see this in different parts of the world like when I close my eyes and I think about it. I want girls in Morocco, which is where I’m going this summer and I can’t believe it. You know in Morocco, in Kenya, in Syria, In Libya. Like every girl in Beijing. I truly believe that when every girl knows this and believes it. Cause belief changes your action. Right?

Susan: Yes ma’am.

Shanterra: So my vision is that every girl should be. They need to be told. But to do that every day. To wake up and decide like OK you still believe in this because it is hard. It’s hard, when you are trying to get to every girl. It is hard when you are a speaker and an author and you want to partner with parents to help them raise their girls. It is difficult for people to invest in young people. That’s hard. So battling those bricks. Battling those walls every day. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hands down. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I have worked for people. So that’s what’s crazy. Like, you go to work everyday and you help other people build their dreams. Every single day. Right. Every single day. But for your own dream, your own vision. That is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I’m still doing it.

Susan: Yes you are.

Shanterra: But, it’s tough. It’s tough. You um, it’s tough because you have to be self-motivated. There isn’t a boss telling you what needs to be done. There isn’t someone patting you on your back because you turn something in.

Susan: I will pat you on your back. You just call me. I will do that.

Shanterra: The dances that I do.

Susan: Because we need those. We have to celebrate. I used to be so bad about that and that is one thing my coach has told me is Susan we have to celebrate. Like you have to.

Shanterra: Yeah yeah.

Susan: Otherwise you just get stuck in the…

Shanterra: Cycle. Yeah yeah yeah. And you you wonder is this making a difference? You know so it is hard I feel like I should be more encouraging, but it’s hard.

Susan: That’s reality.

Shanterra: Oh my gosh.

Susan: But you’re doing it and that’s the thing.

Shanterra: Yeah I mean I’m doing it.

Susan: You’re doing it because you feel like you’re supposed to.

Shanterra: I have to. When I really think about because I mean I think the the beautiful part about working for someone else is all the other stuff is taken care.

Susan: Oh yeah. At this point you’re the janitor and CEO.

Shanterra: I’m the everything. I’m the the the H.R. person, I’m the healthcare person, the vacation time off person. I’m all of that and you don’t really think about it until you no longer have it.

Susan: Trust me when I was writing website copy. I had to outsource some of that stuff.

Shanterra: That’s what I’m saying. Yes. So when you’re doing it and and all the pieces that it takes to stay motivated. It is really hard. And I feel bad. I feel bad. I feel guilty sometimes because I want I want somebody to just just hire me.

Susan: The overnight successes?

Shanterra: That or just a job. Can I just get a regular job?

Susan: No you can’t. Because you have to do this.

Shanterra: But that’s the guilt. That’s where, because every time I look for just a regular just something I feel so convicted. I feel so bad because either I’m not believing in the vision anymore or I’m taking the easy way out. And I always think about girls around the world. So tell us about it. Keep at it.

Susan: So tell us about, it. Tell us about Marvelous University and what are you doing. Who are these girls? I mean obviously girls around the world, but who are these fabulous women you have found?

Shanterra: This is the beautiful part. So Marvelous University. It is truly a business. A company designed to inspire young people to be more than what’s expected, more than what’s required, and more than what’s modeled. We offer life coaching and success planning for young people. But we specialize in leadership development for girls and young women. So all of that means when I say more than what’s expected more than what’s required more than what’s modeled. We put so much we have so many unspoken expectations on girls and they’re unspoken until they don’t meet those expectations that we’re thinking about them and when they don’t meet them we are quick to criticize we are quick to judge. We’re quick to correct. But not with love. When I say more than was required we often put limits. It’s weird we have expectations but then we put limits on what girls can do. We don’t expect.

Susan: Yes. I mean I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Shanterra: But we put limits on that. So it’s like wait. So either you have expectations of the thing you don’t require them to either follow through or we come up with these excuses. More than what’s modeled. I often think about we lack. I don’t want to say role models in our communities but we. I think we, say for example what’s happening in our in our country right now with the with young people truly spearheading a movement. Gun rights. Just advocating for themselves right. If y’all adults won’t do it. We’ll do it. I often think about how young people leave everything. They are the ones who will take those risks that adults. Oh I don’t want to do that because there are sacrifices, right? Adults are like I don’t want to lose my job. I don’t want to lose where I live. Things like that. Young people really feel like they have nothing to lose.

Susan: They’re naive.

Shanterra: Right? Or, they just feel like so?!

Susan: Right. They have their whole lives so it doesn’t matter.

Shanterra: And so when I say you know I’m watching them and I’m like more than what’s modeled I don’t want them to feel limited. So when I think about girls and I heard years ago that especially in underserved communities underserved countries when you educate a girl you educate the entire village.

Susan: Oh absolutely.

Shanterra: Right? Because we’re going to share. We’re going to share the information that we receive. We’re also the child bearer. So everything that happens to a girl to a young woman that affects everyone and so the marvelous girl is every girl. It is she is not. It is not about race. It is not about socioeconomics. It is not about region. It’s the every girl. But I also believe that every girl isn’t getting the same information. So when I say girls were born to be marvelous this is not you are marvelous if you live in a certain community or if your parents have certain income or if you drive a certain car. This is you are marvelous because of who you are, period! And I believe every single girl needs to hear it. Now some people will put it in well because you’re a black woman. You need to be telling this to black girls and you know. And I’m like yeah I do. And I need to tell girls who don’t because we don’t we don’t hear that we hear go to school get an education and yeah our communities. Yeah certain girls get better education all that kind of stuff but I’m talking about basic you were born to be marvelous so that to me that is every single that’s every single girl. No limits. And that’s why that’s why when I close my eyes and I see the world I see every single girl.

Susan: That is, that just makes me want to cry. I love every word of your vision. I love every word of your organization. And friends, Shanterra hasn’t just started this university this Marvelous University this organization. She also wrote a book. And I picked it up cause Shanterra is my friend. I knew it was written for young girls. And I thought it was great. It wasn’t long it was an easy read and I thought well this will be great I’ll tell my friend I read her book I bought her book and I’m supporting my friend and Shanterra, I read your book and it’s not just for girls it’s for women. And I need to know why you didn’t write this book, ya know, 20 years ago. Because I needed this then.

Shanterra: Oh me too.

Susan: And hearing this now. I mean I feel like as women there’s a lot of history behind you know feminism and that movement and all of that. I’m hoping I pray that we are getting to a point where we’re coming together as women.

Shanterra: I mean, Yes. You said you are hoping and praying. So I’m joining you with that hope and prayer.

Susan: Because what your book says just… I heard growing up… I grew up in South Carolina and I didn’t hear a lot of these messages. In fact I heard the opposite messages until I found myself at a women’s college where women are in the top leadership roles there is no 50/50 there’s no 80 20 it’s 100 percent women. All day long.

Shanterra: So women have to lead. Yes.

Susan: Women have to lead. So you’re you’re in the top. So when I read your book I was I needed this 20 years ago. I can use this now and it just it astounds me. So tell us about your book and how that came to be.

Shanterra: So I wrote a book called Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide to Being Marvelous. And I wrote it to truly inspire girls. It’s basically five rules to help every girl be marvelous. So and let me just say this so jiggle is how I talk about self how I talk about body. It’s not just the thing that moves.

Susan: Although it does that too.

Shanterra: Yes there are things on my body just. No control of my own just moves. But it was really and I thought it was a fun word that girls could like giggle when they hear it but but also disarm girls and so when I say the girls guide to being marvelous. It’s describe what you want in a friendship and be that kind of friend. And so when I think about girls in middle school and high school and first year of college and then when they graduate college and then first year at work like friendship. So big deal you know it is a fabric, a foundation it is women in friendships is so important. So when we talk about what do you want in a friendship. And then how do you also how do you show up in friendship. So describe what you want in a friendship and be that kind of friend. Love your jiggle. So loving your body. Being kind to your body. Not criticizing your body not allowing other people to criticize your body. I talk about my family in the book a lot because I come from a large family a large family that is very opinionated and we are the ones that you know there is no lack of conversations around our bodies. I just remember being a, being young going shopping and going in the dressing with my mom and her ability to pull and tug and comment and you know and there’s a certain age especially middle school where your body is changing without your consent. Right? So how do we speak to that and what, based on the images and the messages that society gives us. What are we saying to our bodies? You know. So really wanting girls to love their bodies. Another rule is to decide when you want to have sex and stick to it. Yeah and that scares parents because parents first of all never want their daughters to have sex. Ever. Even at 35.

Susan: You didn’t have. It was a miracle.

Shanterra: Yes!

Susan: There was a stork involved.

Shanterra: Jesus Jr. Listen there is no, so but asking girls to decide when. For the majority of girls if you ask them when they want to have sex. It is not like tomorrow they won’t say next week. If you give them permission to first of all think about it, cause we don’t allow girls to think about it. Boys get to think about it and it’s expected that boys are thinking about sex. We do not expect girls to think about sex. We don’t give them permission to think about sex. So in this book I’m asking girls to decide when they want to have sex. Stick to it. Where do you want to be. What do you want to be changing out of. Do you have to love them. Do you have to like the person. If the answer is yes how would you know especially with love how would you know that your in love. So basically asking girls to think. Write it down and then stick to it because the majority of their answers. I would like to be married. That’s the majority. If you give girls the chance to think about it first to think about where they want to be. Most of them will say somewhere nice somewhere beautiful. I always give it the thought of you know being in the penthouse suite in the Ritz Carlton overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

Susan: That sounds pretty amazing.

Shanterra: You can’t get there if you’re 16 though. But when you think. Where do you want to be. Do you want to be in a car? Do you want to be in the gym at school? Do you want to be in your school uniform? But asking girls to think. Giving them permission to think so they can decide for themselves. So if they are in a situation like wait I don’t want to be here. They get permission to speak for themselves. I didn’t want to be here. Now, for parents I try to get them to understand. That may not mean that she will wait till she is 32 to have this experience. But it does mean that she gets to think for herself. And isn’t that what we want is women and girls to think for are ourselves.

Susan: And the women’s health aspect that plays into that. I mean hello.

Shanterra: Seriously!

Susan: That’s one of the biggest things is just women’s health and it goes back to that body thing. Taking care of your body. It all plays into that.

Shanterra: But women’s health its mind, body and soul. It’s being able to make my own decision. And being confident in that and not asking someone else like will you still talk to me if I say no and don’t want to be here in this car having sex. And if the joker is like no I won’t talk to you. Then he’s not worthy of you anyway. But giving girls the permission to think is really important. It’s really really important. So decide when you want to have sex and stick to it. Learning how to save serve and give and not just when it comes to finances but when it comes to serving our community. Giving my full attention to the people I’m sitting with at the table learning how to be present. And then finally risk saying I don’t know because I find so many times girls and young women will give an answer and not even really be sure about it but they’re afraid to say I don’t know or I need to find more information about that, or you know that’s interesting that’s something new I’ve never heard before. I would love to learn more. So that’s what, Love Your Jiggle: The Girls Guide to Being Marvelous is about.

Susan: That is phenomenal. And I’m telling you we will have a link up on the website to this book. You need to order it. And you need to order more than one copy because there is a friend you need to give it to. Every woman out there needs to read this book.

Shanterra: I loved writing it. It was one of those things where I felt like, and thank you for saying that. I mean it’s one of those, it was, that was my baby and it was something that I thought about years ago and wanting girls to have just a little guide. Just something that they could put in their bag or put in, you know, just something, a crossover they could put it in and take it with them ask questions to themselves ask their friends questions. I saw girls having a discussion about it and just like what do you think. OK so where do you want to be or when you say you know love your jiggle like what are the things you’re saying to your body? Things like that where girls would have conversations. So it’s encouraging to hear that you know that you see it more than just middle school or high school girls. That was, that was part of my vision.

Susan: Yes. So a few minutes ago we were talking about times where you lack self-confidence and you just wanted to throw your hands up. How do you get back to that place where. How do you motivate yourself and get yourself back to the place where this is who I am and this is what I am supposed to be doing. What does that self-confidence look like? What does that motivation look like?

Shanterra: I have amazing purpose partners. I have purpose partners. I have two people who I mean whether it’s a text or a phone call that I am so extremely vulnerable and transparent with. And you need that. And when I say vulnerable I am like butt naked just like this is what I’m feeling and not afraid to share. I don’t feel qualified to do this. I don’t feel like I should still be doing it. I’m very very very transparent with them and so when I’m lacking self-confidence which is probably every other day I reach out and I share and I don’t and I even share you know whether I need a cheer like rah rah rah or a ask me the hard questions but they really help me to keep going. And you know and truly remember that this is a brick by brick process. Like it is an every day decision. You know it’s just like a marriage it’s like every day you decided to be in this marriage. It is not based on circumstances. It is not based on the weather. It is not based on whether or not you got flowers or you know someone put the seat down or what. It’s not based on that stuff. It is an every day decision that you’re going to be in it. And that is what I have to realize. That’s just the same way in having this. It is an everyday decision. And when I’m struggling with that decision I reach out to my purpose partners and that vulnerability to reach out is very hard but I trust them to see the vulnerability. I trust them to see the lack of self-confidence. And then when they build me up I’m not embarrassed when we get off the phone. I am not ashamed. Right?! Because I think sometimes when you when you have to be vulnerable. This world has a way of making you feel ashamed and guilty for your needing support. And I trust them completely that when I get off (the phone). That was good. I’m glad they were there. And I get to go back to building. But I need that and I really rely on them and then I mean I’m a I’m a post it person. So there are post its around my office space and there are post its in my bathroom. There are post its on mirrors in my space that remind me to keep going. Whether it’s, I have a post it that says 20k by 2020. I plan on reaching 20,000 girls by the year 2020.

Susan: Love it.

Shanterra: There’s a post it in my bathroom that says I am marvelous and I say it out loud. There is a post it in my office that also says keep going brick by brick. You got this. Don’t stop. And I think some people would say gosh does it really take all that? Do you really need that much encouragement? And I’m like, uh-huh. I do.

Susan: We all do. If we’re realistic.

Shanterra: Right. But we get embarrassed. I think we feel like if we need it then something is wrong. And for me, I’m like, we were made to be relationship with people and we need to encourage other people. I know I’m an encourager. At least I hope I am. I need it. And that that’s truly what I mean, the self-confidence is hard. But I reach out to them. I’m like remind me why did this again. What did I say about the vision? Tell me again. What did I say? Cause I got another no today or I didn’t get a callback today or I sent out all this information and not one school called me back. I did this or I did that. And their like yep. Keep going or let’s go another route or, you know. So that that’s how I get through. My purpose partners. I’m so thankful. So thankful.

Susan: And I think your purpose partners are a fantastic idea. I never thought about that language and I love that language because when you see people especially today we have the world of social media and we have these overnight success stories. Because you know they started this yesterday and they woke up today and were billionaires. Cause that’s how it really happens.

Shanterra: They don’t tell you the steps.

Susan: You don’t see the steps behind the scenes and that’s one that’s one thing I want to highlight with this podcast is I know there are women out there who have things or have dreams or have a vision and if it didn’t happen yesterday or if it’s not happening fast enough. There is a lack of confidence there or a lack of drive or I can’t do this on my own. And I want you to know you don’t have to. You don’t have to do this on your. No one is doing this on their own. For heaven’s sakes Oprah has a team of a lot of people behind her at this point.

Shanterra: Absolutely

Susan: It is not her doing this. I am not running this by myself.

Shanterra: And when she didn’t have a team she had Stedman and Gayle.

Susan: Yes. I mean, hello. From the beginning.

Shanterra: I think the hard part I think for women is that we if you look at…cause “comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt

Susan: Yes it is. That has come up on other podcasts of mine.

Shanterra: Because it is we look at other women and we think oh my goodness they have it all. She was able to do that in a quick you know a quick overnight turnaround thing. And we don’t share all the hurdles we don’t share it all. So when I say my purpose partners these are people that I went to and they both laughed at me because like well don’t I do that already? And I’m like, yes but I’m making it official.

Susan: This is your role.

Shanterra: This is your role and I’m telling you this because you are the person who knows it all. And I’m trusting you to walk with me with this vision. So it was intentional. Right. And I think that as women as we’re building, as we’re sharing we need people that we say this is this is the thing that I’m going to go after are you willing to join me as a purpose partner. Joining me and going after it. I’ll do the work but I need you to join with me whether it’s praying for me whether it’s giving me a cheerleader you know rah rah rah whether that’s bringing me some coffee whether that’s spotting me a dollar like what. But being that person to remind me that I’m not by myself. We need to we have there’s no way out there’s no way. There’s no way I could do it. There’s no way.

Susan: You have to have somebody.

Shanterra: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Susan: Well I want to pivot just a little bit and I want to talk about putting it down. It is hard to do. We all at some point have to put it down at least for half second and take care of our own bodies and our own selves.

Shanterra: Yes. Yes.

Susan: So how and when ever do you make time to do that?

Shanterra: You know as you say that I’m thinking. But but but one thing I do is I I go OK. So I love there’s a trail at the Katy Trail here in Dallas and where I currently live I basically walk out my door. Take a few steps. And I’m I’m at the Katy Trail. And I love the Katy Trail. One, I love moving and so I get out there. I listen to a podcast right and so I get out there and I move. And I started this thing because I was sitting a lot when you when you are starting a business there’s a lot of sitting. And I realized I was sitting and eating and drinking. And that was not good. It was not a good combination. So in loving my jiggle, I decided I needed to move my jiggle and so I just started walking and then I realized just how that changed my mindset. And I was listening to people who had either started businesses or I would listen to Oprah’s podcast and listen to these folks who were just like in such a space where I was like huh, I can do this. Now some people say well that’s that’s not self care because your brain is still going, but for me it was moving my body. It was listening to other people. So being encouraged. So then when I went back I could have a just a different mindset. So for me that’s self care. Getting out. Absolutely. And walking. And then I’m a night owl I tend to work pretty late because my brain seems to like you know night. And so I’m pretty great at getting up when I’m rested. Then if I go to bed really late I don’t then try to get up and be you know functioning at 8 o’clock in the morning because no one wants that person. Trust me when I say no one wants that person. So I sleep well, I rest well, I’m very very intentional about my space. And so there isn’t. I don’t have a television in my room. I don’t do. There are certain things that make sure that I that I take care of me. So I move, cause marvelous girls move. I move my body. I listen to encouraging podcasts. I go to sleep when I’m sleepy and I wake up when I’m rested. And I believe in naps. I just I feel like that, that is how I care for me and I drink a lot of water.

Susan: That’s a good one. Everybody should drink more water.

Shanterra: I drink a lot of water. I have to realize it’s it’s an energizer in itself. And I guess that’s what I do. I move, I drink water, I sleep.

Susan: Well, I’m going to ask one more question as we close. And that is I said a little bit about earlier but I know there’s a woman out there who is has something on her brain that’s in her heart it’s in her soul. I remember when I started this podcast I could feel it. But I didn’t know I didn’t have that next action step. If you could leave the woman on the other end of this podcast with an action step because I love that conversation. It was fantastic. It was motivating it was inspiring. But until you take that step. It’s just talk. So what’s an action step. You would leave with a woman looking to do something new.

Shanterra: My action step would be, well there are several. First of all believe in yourself and you don’t need a crowd of people cheering you on saying you go do that. Believe in yourself. Get you one or two purpose partners who will believe with you and do it. It is that simple. And please please don’t compare yourself to other people who you think are already doing it. A friend of mine said the other day. You know you try to think well is this something I’m supposed to do? Cause isn’t someone already. And I’m always thinking well if you weren’t supposed to do then the vision wouldn’t have been given to you if you weren’t supposed to do it then you could let it go because there are women out there you have something that you’ve been thinking about doing for a very long time. And you can’t shake it. And matter of fact you’ve done other stuff because you think oh somebody else is going to do that or they’re doing that already and you can’t sleep you can’t it won’t get off of you. So just do it. When I am when I go into Home Depot. Seriously, when I go into Home Depot and there are trash cans, right? Because everybody always need a new trashcan. You go into Home Depot and there are about 15 different types of trash cans that you can buy. And I think wow what if the person who created the first trash can. If that was the only trash can. Then I look at all the other trash cans and I think my gosh if all those people thought who needs another trash can. We wouldn’t have 15 different trash can options and people labor in the aisles of trash cans at Home Depot. Cause you wonder well do I need that one, or do I want a step 1, or do I want one where I just wave my hand. My point is this. We have no shortage. No shortage of trash cans that you can buy. But if that person who decided to make the second kind of trash can, if that person decided well we already have a trash can I’m not going to do anything cause someone already did it then you wouldn’t have options. Do the thing. Just do the thing. Give the world options. Give the world options. Believe in yourself, get you a couple of purpose partners and then go out there and do it. Get you a website. Just buy the even the name. Just buy the name. You don’t even have to put anything up there just by the name and have it. So when you’re ready to put stuff up there you’re thinking about it because you’ve already seen a lack. You know what I mean? You already seen a lack. So go ahead and give the world option. Those are my steps. Believe, get you some purpose partners, buy the website name and get to doing it. And that’s that’s really it. Give the world options.

Susan: I have nothing to add. Now ladies, go do your own trash can.

Shanterra: I’m telling you I was standing in the isle and I looked around. Oh my goodness. This is trash cans. No shade to the trash can. But there are options for trash cans. And people are struggling to figure out which trash can do I need. And if that first person who created the trash can. If no one else thought of it it wouldn’t have been done. So for me it was about going and looking at all those different options and saying how dare I think that I do not deserve to give the world options on how we talk to girls and young women. How dare I?

Susan: Alright! That’s all I got. Bye!

Susan: I mean it doesn’t get much better than that does it. Thanks so much for joining me today. I really hope you left with as much from our chat as I did. You can find out more about Marvelous University and Shanterra over on her website, marvelousuniversity.com where you can also purchase her book. Love Your Jiggle: A Girls Guide to Being Marvelous. On Facebook, you can find her at Marvelous University by Shanterra McBride and on Twitter @shanterramcbride. If you liked this episode, I know you’ll be excited about our future guests. So go on over to iTunes or our website and hit subscribe. I would love it if you would also leave a review as I’m excited to hear what you think. Thanks again friends, I’ll see ya soon.